When things seems like its collapsing...
When it seems like we are coming to an end...
There's a million reasons for one to go
But if i can find one reason for me to stay,
Will you do whatever it takes?
To turn this around, to risk all your stakes,
Let me truly inside even though it might hurts.
Don't hide the broken parts so we can both see.

Can you do whatever it needs?
Holding on to each other above everything else.
Promise me eternity if I promise you I'll stay.
To give this a chance, to believe & change.

Don't keep telling me those words.
Excuses they may seems to be.
Yet you don't seems to know,
How much they have hurt me.

Don't wait till its too late.
When we have to go on without each other in arms.
A bird without wings,
A fire without flame,
A song without soul,
A love with no ways.

What's left of us?

I didn't know it will be so hard
I tried to play it off by keeping my cool

But

I tried saying goodbye but I cried.
I tried to walk away but I stumbled.

Though I tried to hide it but I know it's clear,
Fate brought me here & I fear,
This is just a game & changes when the plane fly.
The whole world crumbles & leaving pain behind.

I've never been the kind to let my feelings show
Never been the kind to let my hidden thoughts out
Never been the kind to say my words easily

I always thought being strong means never losing my self control
Always thought being strong means never let my tears fall
Always thought being strong means never let my soft spot seen

But tonight, I am going to let go of my pride, let my tears fall like rain from the sky.
Wishing & praying the pain that hurt so bad will get better before the rise of another day.

I don't want to be loved for what I stands for or seems to be.
I don't want to be loved because it's your infatuation which seems to be a reason to believe we are meant to be.
I don't want to be loved just because you saw me trying, going way out to win the fight.
I don't want to be loved only because you were lonely & needed someone to make you smile.

I want you to love me because of who exactly I am. Because I make the sun shines for you.
I want you to love me for my details. The little things that are true about me & only me.
I want you to love me because I touched your heart & it drives you crazy.
I want you to love me because you are ready & you know I'm worth sticking with.
I'm worth it.

It's seems to be a long long journey...
I know where I need to be
But I don't know if I can believe
I've got a way to you, where I call it home.

It's going to be a long long journey.....
Too many days I've spent
Dreaming of you & me
I hope you will be standing next to me, where you keep me strong.

It's my long journey...
Which I must make, to find you
Because you have break those walls
Wanting me to make it through...
Making me worth the price to do so

That's enough for now,
To make me go all the way for you
Where noone seems to understand why I did so
Deep inside, I know I'm losing all the control
The moment I met you...

The complexity has overcome the simplicity

Will it just mess things up....or only to bring two closer?

I really wonder

What do i need to give to live where you are?
What do i need to pay to stay here beside you are?
What do i do to see you smiling at me?
What do i do to show you what this means to me?

Do you know that i can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you?
Do you know that i can't look into your eyes without feeling how much i've long for you?
Do you know that i can't talk to you without wanting to expres my love for everything you are?
Do you know that i've fall in love without knowing how, why or even when?

In each & every moment of my day,
I fought hard with the ticking minutes
To try my very best to please.

In the midst of my collasping world,
I fought hard with the messy living,
To put my very best effort to try to appease.


Yet, nothing can ease the pain you put me through.
For everything you have done wrong.
Still, nothing can revive the joy you brought into my life.
For all that you make seems so right.

Each time I turn around & look back at yesterday,
Looking at my shadow that have cast under the moonlight maze,
I have lost who I am.
I don't know who I am.

I am not the same.
I don't even know how this feeling.

Can you see how hard I'm trying?
Can't you see where I'm getting?
How do I make it clearer to you?
When will I be able to be with you?

Please give me what I need to stay.
Please show me you mean what you say.
Please hold on to me so I can't walk away.
Please tell me you are on your way.

What lies behind us is our past.
A past that I have which bring me to where I am today.

What lies before us is our future.
A future that I have to brave it through with my courage & I anticipate.

But, do they really all matters?
When they are compared to what lies within us?

只要几个字, 一句话,改变了语气和方式
就会有不同解释。

只要几个人，一份爱，改变了伱和我的角色和位子
就会让一切完全变质。

我想对你说，请你别太温柔。
因为我还不懂，
你是不是只是寂默，所以爱上了我？

如果温柔的最后，结局是放手
我该如何接受，
让离开时的我拥有着笑容？

我曾说过，爱过才懂。
因为我害怕，
你的温柔太多，会变成一种折磨。

我曾说过，有些事不必说，有些伤不必痛。
我是不是能带走你的寂寞？
希望你好好过。

I will like to run away from you.
But, if you didn't come & find me,
I would die

Love is such a strong word. If you are going to use it, make sure you know what it means.

Because it hurts to hear and know that you don't mean it.

You have wind surf into my life...
Took me by surprise.
It feels like a roller coaster ride.
Making me want you badly inside.

You have reach me with your mind...
Just by looking into my eyes.
You read my thoughts
But it feels like I am walking ice, wondering if you can be mine.

You have slide into my life...
If only u are willingly to come into the arms of mine.
I promise never to lie,
Just to have you close by.

You have touch me with your smile...
I dream of you smiling at me in the night.
They are like stars, shinning in the dark sky.
Guide me to where you will be.

You walked into my life...
Bringing so much for me along with you.
I've learnt & I might have changed for the better.
Because I met you.

There are thousand of miles between us...
There will be many doubts confusing us...
There might be pain ...
But if you trust me, love me, believe in me
I know this could just be as real as it can be

I have changed for good because of you....

The meaning of a hug...

Whenever we hugged, the warmth in you makes me melts. It gives me the will to go on in life. It makes me know you are here. It feel so strong, the love and the admiration, just as desperately as I need to breathe even if I'm underwater.

But, are you doing so, hugging me because you want to & not because you are suppose to?

You touch my tired eyes,
Sprinkled them with magic dust,
They brighten up when you are in sight.

You trace the lines of my life,
Watching every steps of mine,
Growing old suddenly seems fine.

You heal those scars as time goes by,
Making me all brand new & alive,
Craving for your touch every time.

You wrap your thoughts around mine,
Changing my life,
They leave prints in my mind.

When I fall weak & cry,
You hold on to me tight,
Assure me everything will be fine.

When I feel scared & afraid of life,
You protect me with all your might,
Stand tall for me & shelter me with your light.

I may not have the softest touch,
I may have edges that's rough.
I may not have say the right words at the right time,
I may have hurt you with some unkind.

I may not look like much,
I may not fit in that much,
I may not seems like very much,
But will you, take my heart & give us a try?

I will love you till death do us part,
I will stand by you when life gets hard,
I will hold your hands through the dark.
Will you, embrace my soul & love me throughout this life?

All my life, I have known to be searching for a someone to love, a someone to make me complete. While many had choose and change partners, dancing to a song of heartbreak & drowing in the sea of cries. I listen hard to the sound of hope & holding tight to the faith in me while I wonder deeply in, if all the while somewhere, somehow, someone perfect is searching for me.

Sometimes I wish that falling in love has traffic lights too.

Flashing green to show that I can go for it.
Flashing orange to show that I need to slow down.
Flashing red to show that it's time to stop.

Just so that my heart won't get bruised.
Just so that my heart won't get hurted.
Just so that my heart won't get shattered.

& so that my heart will be completed.
& so that I won't miss my chances with you.
& so that I can do the right things at the right time.

Only so to defend myself...
Only so I won't waste time...
Only so I know you are the right one.

Struck in a Fantasy & Fairytale

I'm struck in a Fantasy
I can't help but somehow fall in love with the way it feels.
I wonder if it is real.
If I need it, can I have it?
Telling myself I should stop, deep inside I know You have become my addiction

I'm struck in a Fairytale
I can't help but somehow got in too deep with the way it goes.
I wonder if I'm just taken by the thought of it.
If I should stay away?
Telling myself i will quit, deep within i know You have become my obsession.

It's all because of you.
You have taken all over my mind & all I could think of is you.
You have taken all over my heart & my heartbeat races for you.
You have make me crazy because all I wish now is to be with you.

So will you, keep me sane with your love?

Will you be the angel of mine?

I don't know how it happens but in new conversations we have, you never fails to make me smile. Always something inside of you that draws me wanting to be close by.

I don't know why it happens but in each conversation we had, I could feel each moment as if they were new & I'm alive. Always right on time, you came & shower me with love when I lost hope & thinking my world might be a lie.

I don't know what it really is but in all conversations, always a change in me & you are the cause of it. I'm different now, I've grow & because I have got you now in my life.

How you change my world, I can never learn.
What you mean to me, you can never know.
Because nothing means more to me than what we have shared. It's something noone & nothing can be compared.

I look at you.
I listen to your voice.
I can't help but wonder.
Are u sent from above?
Are u the angel of mine?

The breaths I have took,
The love I have shown,
The smiles I have made,
I only want to share it with you.

Will you be the angel of mine?
Solely mine....

Time Consuming VS Time Efficient

An 8 hours requirement to get this ready pipping hot.

Why can't we just do take away?!

When you're in love, you don't need words. A look, a touch, a sign is all it takes to know...

Scariest Day...

Finally you have returned. I have barely survived in the days without you. I can't tell you how tough days were without you by my side. These are the moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.

You came to me, telling me how you have missed me, apologise to me if you have woke me up. I sensed you are out of sort, having a lot in your thoughts. I caught in surprise on how painful i felt when you said you have fallen in love with someone. I understand your dilemma, your worries, your fears. You asked me how to declare your love. You are worried if she feels the same. You comment on her beautiful, smart & good personality. At the instant, You have no idea how badly i wish i am her. I caught in surprise on how my heart aches. I want to cover my ears & stop listening to you telling me about her. I caught in surprise on how my heart breaks, at the moment, i could feel my world came crashing down. Still, I can't let you go & think about this alone. I want to share your thoughts, your worries, your fears with you.

"Asked her out for dinner & pop the question" i said.
"She lives so far" You replied.

But love knows no distance. If it's love, anything works.. even distance & time.

I envy her, she's the luckiest girl to have you loving her. I hope she does know how much she's blessed to have you & your heart with her.

Just when how badly i need to leave, i bid you goodbye. I only wish you know what you meant to me. I only wish you have read this.

You said my words are touching. Have you actually read them carefully?

You declare i won the game. The time apart makes you think. Caught you in surprise, made you scared & afraid.

You told me you are falling... for me. We hardly know each other but that's what makes you want to be close to me despite you been hurt by many, with me you feel different. You apologize for being so sudden. You said you love me! You said I'm the one for you. You said you will try for my love. You said you will believe me. You said it makes you happy knowing i'm happy. You fall in love & that is why you are running away.

But,
Do you know, i am scared too not because of what you said but how much i want to say it to you too?
Do you know, i am scared too not because i can't wait but you been running away, disappearing.
Do you know, i am scared too not because i am not ready but you might not believe me.

Finally, it took you so long to come near me.
Finally, it took me so long to get you close to me.
Finally, it took us so long to realize this.
Finally, it took us too long in hiding.
Finally, it took us too long to let our hearts to guide us.

I never knew feeling like this was real. So real that I must be dreaming.

It's the scariest day of the year. Yet only one thing scares me the most, it is that we might never have met.

Whatever happens tomorrow, we had today. I'll always remember this for you made my heart beat raced. For you put my soul at ease. For you made me smile foolishly. For you put my heart back in place. For you Love me....

A song... Our song..

Hope guides me. It is what gets me through the days and especially the nights when i don't have you with me. Each time you are gone from my sight, I hope that it will not be the last time I look upon your beautiful face. I hope that it will not be the last time i hear a word from you. I hope that it will not be the last time i feel your touch.

Because, your look, your word, your touch, reaches deep into my soul & my heart in ways that i can never imagine anyone else does.

Because i want to be in your arms. I want to feel your touch. I want your lips on mine. I need you very much.

Because you have bewitched me, my heart & soul. I love you & I wished I’ll never be apart from you from this day on.

The silence in our conversation...

The short pauses in our conversation makes me wonder. It is silence of comfort i called it. You sounds so near that sometimes it takes my breath away and all the things I want to say is unable to find a voice. This is the time in silence, I can only hope, my eyes will speak my heart if you see them close enough.

There are always so much I want to say to you, but I'm not sure where I should begin from. Should I start by telling you that how much comfort you bring to me? Or how much it means to me with the time i get spent with you. Or how in this short time I've known you, I've come to believe that you left a mark in me?

I can say all above is true but just when i tried to say out, my mind went blank and all I can think of is that I wish I am with you now & lean onto you. Closing my eyes with you beside i know i want nothing more than you holding me this way till the end of time.

If there is some part of you hesitating for a moment,if there is a moment of hesitation, does that means you feel something too? If there is something between you and me, does that means you are denying it?

All I ask for is that you won't just dismiss and ignore that. Please try to dwell in it for just a second. Because there isn't another soul on this planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you.

All i ask for is that you will take a risk. Because even if we will never talk again like this after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you have meant to me.

Insignificant teardrop...

My teardrop may be insignificant, but it can touch a soul as when it runs down my face...

Dear Dairy....

Dear Dairy,

Today i met a boy. He stole my heart & won't give it back. I love dancing with him when all i need to do is only to step onto his feet & he will count the steps & lead me to tap those 2 left feet. When I'm with him i don't try too hard to be happy. I love him swinging me around, though i get dizzy spells but i think it is because he kissed me. When night comes, i can guaranteed i'm thinking of him. Every night i pray, tomorrow starts with him. Every night i wish, wishing he's here to hug me so i can feel his warm chest, i can listen to his real heartbeat. Every night i hope i have told him sooner how i have fallen in love with him. Every night i want it so badly, if only it is that easy to just go straight up to his face & say I Love You.

Just as i thought i could have him, my dream ruins, my heart breaks. I just can't forget how much i'm in love with him. How do i return him his key to my heart? He has no idea how hard it is to force myself to stop thinking of him, of me, of us. No matter how many times i tell myself that i'm better off without him, a part of me just won't let go.

Just as i thought the worse could be over in time, every mistake i've ever made, every word i wish i had said, every moment that made me cry, rushes through my head right before i go to bed. And now, all i can do is cringe & pretend that it all had never happened before.

Let's Play a Game

An Overdue late night chat,
An Initiation of mine,
An Invitation to you,
An Agreement from you,
And the clock started ticking,
We are ready.

Am I going to be the winner of this game?
Are You losing just so to comfort me?
Is this going to be a happy ending?
Will you finally fall in love with me?
Do you understand how i feel?

All I wish is that you will love me.
All I wish is that you will need me.
All I wish is that your heart will break without me.
All I wish is that you will spend rest of your nights awake thinking of me.
All I wish is that I'm the first you greet for the day & the last you spoke to before bed.
All I wish is that I am always the last thing on your mind before you go to bed.

Not by anyone else but you. Don't say yes unless you really mean it, because I might do something crazy like believe it.

So, now i ask again, Will my wishes come true? Will you have me? Will you have my heart? Will you be the one?

The perfect moment you can find...

The moment when you kiss someone and everything around you turns into a blur. The only thing in focus is you and that person then you realize that this person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. At this moment it makes you want to laugh but also to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that it will all go away at the same time.

This is what people said, the perfect moment in time.

Sometimes, for happily ever after

Sometimes loving is when you have to leave, but you must do.

Sometimes loving is when it hurts too much to let go, but you have to.

Sometimes Loving is when it kills you to move on, but you need to.

But then just sometimes Loving is when you get it back and live happily ever after.

I didn't thought...

When you said you would love me, I am the one you needed all your life, I didn't thought you meant you'd love me till you got tired of me.

When you said that you love me, I am the one who you would make want to die, I didn't thought you meant you would love me till someone new comes in.

When you said you love me, I am the one who makes you feel alive again, I didn't thought you meant you love me till you had me crying over and over again.

I wish for the Courage in me...

I wish I had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had. But, I can’t because I know you won't come after me, and that's what hurts the most.

I wish I had the guts to walk out of this room. But I can't because I know I will never feel the way I feel when I'm with you for the rest of my whole life.

I wish i had the guts to ignore your touch. But I can't because I know there's this place in me where your finger prints still rest, where your kisses still linger and your whispers softly echo.

I wish i had the courage to let go. But I can't because i know a part of you will forever be a part of me.

Why do people have to lose things just so to find out what they really mean to them?

Meet, Spend & Start...

Love is passion also obsession of someone you can't live without, falling head over heels with.

If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with?

Find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back.

But, how do you find that somebody?

Forget your head and listen to your heart. Hear your heart & follow it. Take the risk despite the hurt you might get. Once you have love & be loved, you will come back on track. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.

There is no sense living a life without this. To make the journey to the end and not fall deeply in love. That will not be living a life at all. Because when you meet that someone & realize you want to spend the rest of your life with, you will want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

There’s a thousand & one things I hate about you. But, I know I love you because you need to love something before you can hate it.

I questioned if our love brings the impossible?
Can it take us away?
Can it do anything I want it to?

You came along & proves me that True love really exists, even the darkest hours can’t take that away. The Perfect love for once can change one forever. And now, I’ve learn, that miracles do happen. I believe in the impossible moments as when it comes to us, I know anything is possible.

What's Left to tell?

Whenever I think of you & me, what we share, the time flies pass too fast. It might seem to others the end product of those nights we spend underneath the pale moonlight as a passing phrase. That’s why I do not need to tell them about us. They will not be able to understand. There is no need to explain because I know deep within me how real this is. Because I can’t help smiling when I think of you, knowing you’ve love me all this time & I’ll be dreaming till the day you have me in your arms once again.

Losing the sense of security

I need you to hear my concerns & to alleviate them. I need you to hold me & convince me there will be a way. I need you to hear me & value my words. Most of all, I need you to reassure me that you feel the same way too.

Is it just a fight we’re having & when tomorrow comes, will be like it never happened?

You came into my life like a sudden flame. You blazed & stream into my heart. I can’t stop the inevitable but I’ll make the most out of the time we have left together.

我問你的話，伱从不回答。
你的话从不多，只会靜靜的坐在那。
你说你不是沒有想法，不回答不代表你在掙扎。

我知道，爱你没学到．
该如何去爱，你没记牢．
而我为了你做了很多傻事．
为了你而失去了理智．

我沒有权利．
你沒有錢，沒有房，只有你的理想和夢想．
我知道未來的路还很漫長．
但是你知道吗？
我不害怕陪你一起闖蕩，就算空轉了時光．
我不害怕陪你累，为你流眼泪．
只要你给我你能给的，　我不会怨．

可是你的沉默让我害怕
你的话从不表達，该说的话你沒有講．
你是不是害怕说的会比做的差？
我只想成为你的世界．
我只想和你牵着手，
聆听你的呼唤．

There's so much questions weighing in my mind.
There's so much silence in you whenever i ask.
You might not know the way to love.
You might not know the way to ask for love.
And I, do not have the right to want.
With only dreams & ambitions you have in life,
Its a long rocky way to reach there.
Because of you, I've done many silly things.
Because of you, I've lost control in all.

Still,
I fear not, being with you on tough times.
I fear not, to shed tears for you.
I fear not, the pain & agony i might have to get across.
If only, you give me the best you can.
I will not hate.

But
I fear your silence.
I fear the thoughts you never share.
I fear the words that was meant to say but never from your lips.
Is it of, you being afraid?

When all i want is to be your world, to hold your hands & to listen to you calling my name....

Everything of Nothing

You know I want to give you everything you want. But I can’t. It’s broken.

Romance if lucky, will be replaced by Love

Romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, there’s only one thing in common. It makes me feel that they are like shooting stars, a spectacular moment of lights coming down from heaven, catching a glimpse of eternity. Even though I'm filled with doubts & learnt the warnings, yet I moved with no regards for the consequences. However in a flash they’re gone and I've lose it. This hurts the most because they seem so reasonable, so attainable. Being close enough to touch but never close enough to hold & that’s enough to break my heart. It aches with the thought of being so close yet so untouchable.

You are a stranger now, but being friends that close once is enough.

You can do better than this.... :P

Would you fall for:

You are to me, trust me honey, you are kind and sweet or you would have ignored me. everytime i talk to you, your always there when i need advice or help, and you got a cute personality. So, you are alright for me.

Geez! After a debate, he finally decided with the following:

Sammy, you are an angel, thank you for everything, always there to keep me grinning, and always occupied, cant stop thinking bout you, dam google now lol, your perfect in everyway, and you are awesome.

:D

Still, you can do better than this!

Copyright to G4ng5t3r R3x 5murf

I want that Chance..

I want my chance to have someone I love & fall in love with over & over again. Giving my love without any strings or expectations, loving the best I can.

Meanwhile, I am waiting with all my dreams, keeping my fingers cross, hoping that I’m almost there.

Wedding Vows?

It's rather funny, talking about wedding vows with this guy that i've just met. Loved the moment & enjoying it while it last. However, I can't help feeling he is so near yet so far. There seems to be a distance between us but the more one lean closer, another seems to move away. hmmmmm......

Still, our made-up vows for Tonight :)

Started with:
Copyrighted to: Sw33t T00th R3x
I vow to stay by your side through our struggles & happy times. To always be there for you, to hold & love you till death do i part.


Counter-attack by: Sammybee / Inspired by a Beautiful Song & edited from Original

I've seen the rainbows that can take your breath away, the beauty of the setting sun that ends a perfect day, As for shooting stars, i've caught a few. But, i've never seen anything as beautiful as you. I've never felt so right & that makes me know this will be the last time i'll fall in love. The moment i saw you, looking into your eyes, i know there was something about you, a treasure near impossible to find. I've never fit so perfectly in anyone's arms like yours. Dancing in the moonlight with you even at the stroke of midnight, i can't let go. Through good times or bad, i know i can't live without you. You make me the man i'm & the man i want to be for you. With this ring, I marry you.

Ended with :

Copyright to Sw33t T00th R3x
There are certain people, that have a place in your heart, but it takes one special person to catch your heart & stay there forever & Baby you have mine. Remember the day you hugged me & whispered I love you, in my ear was the best day of my life, now i loved you yesterday, i love you today, i will love you even more tomorrow. You are my past, present & future. Now with this ring, i marry you.

A sweet tooth indeed......

Worthwhile & precious

Nothing that’s worthwhile is ever easy when loving someone & having them love you back. That to me is the most precious thing in the world.

The Past coming through...

What happens in the past is in the past. It’s a nice place to visit but not a good place to stay but don’t be surprised if it does come back & haunts you every now & then.

Don't hate it because it is the past who make you to be today. Embrace it & move on to what you want to be.

Fade away... Remove the Joy that creates the Pain..

Just as the pain faded & it seems much easier to just let it go, I found myself looking for you in the crowd. Looking at someone else, I saw your shadow popping out. At that brief instant, it almost feels like we are together again.

These are the moments I wish I could turn back time & take all the joy that cause the sadness away. The joy that is created just as intense as the pain. I know I have to forget you who has forgotten about me.

It affects me afterward when I’m clear minded. This is when I realise how close you came near.

We are just Friends....

When you said, we are just friends.
We should take baby steps
Because you are just unsure as i am.
Because you are just afraid as i am.
Because you fear pain as i am.
I cried badly in bed.
Wondering if the times we shared are coming to an end.
I want more, more than just being a friend.

When you said, you will never leave me.
Even if our ending are to be just friends.
Because of the distance we have?
Because of the fear we feel?
Because of the time we lack?
I cried badly in bed.
Thinking back, you should not have cross that line i’ve warned.
Letting emotions running so deep & leading to this.
I need more, more than just being a friend.

Friendships fade, eventually one day.
I know i can’t pretend & walk away,
Knowing you are still there.
I will not push you away.
But when everything comes to end,
I need you to be away,
For me to move on in life.
So when we get there,
All that’s left to say,
Is goodbye, my friend.
I love you once & i loved loving you.

Irreplaceable

We experience more ups & downs than before. Everything feels so right when we are together & yet it feels so wrong when we are not. If we truly care, there will always be a way to make it work. As hard as it is, as bad & unfair the way things turn out to be, I will never trade the time I spend with you for anything else.

Wherever you are, that’s where my home is.

Sometimes being Apart...

Sometimes you have to be apart from people you love, but that doesn't make you love them any less. Sometimes you love them more. Sometimes you need to be apart just to understand how much you truly love.

Holding on to Faith..

We might not understand the happenings all the time, wondering why things have to turn out the way they do. There are moments it seems as if the whole world is against us & that is why sometimes we need faith to hold on.

The term comparison kills. For those who have never been your own makes you empty inside & looking for that special someone who will fill into the hole. However no one can do that but you.

Science can only go this far & then comes God.

Understand the ironic..

Each & every one of us is always going through tough times. The ironic part is that everyone thinks that whatever they are going through is just as hard as you are. They try to survive but, sometimes you should try to understand.

Time & Distance

The problem with Time, I've learned, it doesn't matter the days we get to chat or the nights we leaned on each other. Eventually, time runs out without us realizing. I have no idea where you are out there in the world & with the distance in between, I understand that I can't claim any rights to know anything.

The issue with Distance, I've learned, can ruin & twist the best of intentions but it also adds a richness & flavour upon. Our time apart has only made me more certain that I want to spend my nights by your side & my days in your heart.

No matter how many years or days go by, I know one thing to be as true as it can be - I'll be seeing you soon... indeed.

Losing love...

I lost Love once, I think I can do it again. It is possible to go on, no matter how impossible it may seem to be. In time, the pain lessens somehow. It might not go away completely but after awhile it will not be that overwhelm so that I can breathe.

A person can get used to anything if given enough time. Still, the reason it hurts so much being separate with you is because our souls are connected. The creation of our love is great but that also means the greater the tragedy when it’s over.

In our time together, you claimed a special place in my heart, one I’ll carry with me knowing that no one can ever replace. What I've learn is loss being a part of my journey, but it also taught me what was precious to me.

You do not want to lose me but yet you do not want to keep me. So what do you want? Where do I go from here?

This is my song for tonight. Listening to it, repeating in bed...



I look into the mirror & I know I’m looking at someone who isn’t sure is she deserves to be loved or is she worthy to be loved. It seems to far-fetch to believe but at the same time too obvious to ignore. I was in love & the feeling was even much more wonderful than one can imagine.

What am i waiting for.....

When you ask me to forgive,
Promises in the past,
Promises on the present,
Promises of the future,
Lying quietly in my hands
But just as when i try to grab,
I can’t catch hold of them.
Your promises are in vain.

Well, i’m afraid,
I’ll never forgive you,
For giving me hope,
Bringing me faith,
Leading me on.
When promises you made, broken.

Will we end up that way,
This lingers in my brain.
Don’t let this be a waste of time,
Making me wait in vain.

Tell me why....

Tell me why,
I feel my heart aches
Every time when I talk to you

Tell me why,
I feel my heart aches
Each time when I don’t hear from you

Tell me why
I feel my heart aches,
Every night when I long for you

Tell me why,
I feel my heart aches,
Each night I think of you

I don’t know why,
I can’t explain why,
You are all over my mind.

You’re still a stranger
Far away
but tell me why,
My heart aches so badly
I need you close by

You’re still a mystery,
Far apart
But tell me why,
My heart aches,
I’m in pain
I need your embrace

I don’t have a clue,
I am uncertain
Can you please?
Tell me why…

Is this Cyber Deep or Real Deep?

Online chat
Started as Friends
with Mistakes that didn’t end

Skype calls
Sharing our thoughts
with understanding feelings moving on

Thinking of you
Day and Night
with a smile

Spending time together
Moments turned to hours
Chat, phone and write

Falling Asleep
With my phone next to me every night
So to keep track in case you message

My heart flutters
but we have never meet
Could this be right?

My heart bleeds
Feelings intense & in a mess
into my life you crept

could this be real
Feelings cyber deep
of one you may never meet

Should I let go?
My thoughts wonder
Do you love me?
Like that way I do
Should I hold on?
With all my might
Waiting for the time
To ripe.

My desire of you

It’s my desire, yearning for you,
When you open the lock to my heart,
Touch my soul
Makes me tremble, shaken & awake

It’s my desire, yearning for you,
When you shower me with your love,
Touch my heart,
Makes me wanting, craving & asking for more

It’s my desire, yearning for you,
When you just disappeared,
Kill my soul,
Makes me guessing, wondering & questioning

It’s my desire, yearning for you,
When you keep silence,
Kill my heart
Makes me empty, crying & asking
It’s my desire, yearning for you,
I need you, wanting you bad
To touch my soul, to love my heart
Makes me loved, happy & bliss.

Here are my thoughts for today.....

Lifehouse - Falling In

His Song for today



This song keep spinning in my head...

with his reply of..



I wonder what he means. I asked him. He said, the songs he is sharing with me are A: either from him to me directly. Or B: songs that he really likes so i can see into his soul

As for the above, it is proved & acknowledged into the Cat B.

I think i'm getting stupid everyday....

Im going to close my eyes now.

Thinking of our distance which makes this love more beautiful.
Maybe it is because of the need to cross that distance between us to get closer.
Maybe it's just silly me.
But, you always have got a way to reach my heart.
You are so far yet so near.
You live in my heart.
You breathe in my thoughts.
& oneday , maybe we will get there.
Because I know I need you close by.

Jay Sean - Maybe VS Skillet - A Little More

with his reply of .....

Woke up with a headache. He's home late.

A wedding event of mine today leads us to the topic of marriage. He answered me instantly with a Yes after i told him my requirements. Though it seems cheap talk but it makes me feel happy :)

Just You & Me?

Is it really only you & me in the midst of all this people with nothing to do, nothing to lost, nothing to prove?

Or it is just you or me who is hiding behind the light, holding back? Nothing compares to this moment I’m having with you, even if there is any worries dangling in the air. Let there be no mistakes or regrets, even if it is bittersweet, I know for sure the memories we’ve made, love has makes its way.

Kyla - Love with Lead You Back VS Lifehouse - You & Me

with his reply of following

More songs for tonight..

The song of his fears. his past. his hopes.



Locking him up in my cage, with a hot pink leash!



The Sicilian Werewolf left for the day...

Just as i thought he forgotten about our songs to be share, daily pact, he came to me with his song for today.



With my reply of

All you have to do....

All it takes is for you to....

To tell me you love me & mean it from deep inside.
Just keep reminding me everyday how much you love me, how deep you miss me & how badly you need me.
& I'll keep reminding you how much I hate you, how mad I am about you, how badly you hurt me.
Because you fill all of my heart.
Because you occupy all of my mind.

No matter how busy life gets, you find time to make an effort for me,
To drop me a text, give me a call to say hi & this shows you have been thinking of me.
Because ur msgs always make my day.
Because your voice makes me smile despite the work craze i faced everyday.
& I'll always find time to reply even if I'm struck in my crazy meetings & work!
Because deep inside me, i hope my texts show you the light of life.

Ask me how's my day & share your day with me.
If my day been bad, dont tell me you are sorry but make me smile.
Because its a known fact that you dont need to do much to make me happy.
Because you already know that your existence in my life is a blessing I count everyday!
If your day ends bad, I'll do my best make you shine. I want to be a clown if that can make you laugh.
Because your laughter is the most wonderful theme song of my life.

Wake me up with your voice,
For that's highlight for my start of a day.
Let my words count in ur mind, just like yours do magic to mine.
It's a wonderful feeling, knowing my words mean something to you & you listen to it.

Never break ur promises,
For that will tear me apart.
Never forget what you say,
For every words from your lips means the world to me.
When I pout, just keep holding on to me.
No matter how much I struggle & push you away, stay close to me.
Because that's my way to know how much I mean to you.

Come close to me everyday, take initiative on me.
That's when I know how much you need me.
No matter how many times I claimed that I'm not talking to you, you know that's a lie because my heart has you in it all this while.

Don't keep silence on the phone because the less u talk the more it hurts me.
Don't fall asleep on me because that makes me feel I'm not a priority.
Don't ever go missing without letting me know what's happening, because that freaks me out, making me sleepless & worried.

Take genuine interest in me, like how much anything of yours matter so much to me.

When I feel the need to cry, hold me tight & tell me everything's gonna be alright Because u are mine.
Because you are here to guide.

Let me into ur life because u are now in mine.
Don't let me miss any part of it.
Because it upsets me knowing I'm not in it.
Whenever you doubt, ask me!
I love it when u question me
Because that proves how anxious you can be.

That's all you have to do, to love me back in a piece.

Questioning tonight!

Conversations on-going everywhere & he's everywhere in all the apps of my Iphone.

It hurts when i know that he didn't check on my song for the day & only did so when i reminded him. Does it means that i'm not a priority to him?

His heart is in a mess. It is broken, fractured & will need to take some time to heal. Asking me to be patient for him. Can i be?

I just feel that this is getting way out of hands, having doubts on each other

He gets nervous. he questions. he doubts. he gets caught up. it would be different if this distance could be overcome, if we are there for each other physically. He knows what he wants but he does not know the way to get it. There are just too much of uncertainties.

There are lots of question marks going through my mind....

It translates my thoughts, my heart, my soul .... for tonight.

I'm tired of fighting for your attention...

Skillet - Believe

His Theme Song for today:

I want to listen to something u listening to.....

" I want to listen to something u listening to" That gives me the idea to have us sharing the theme song of our day. We promise to send a song to each other everyday. A song that matters & represent our thought for the day.

I love this arrangement because i know even if i'm far away from you, you are always close by, right here in my heart! :)

I am just being difficult on him, by wanting too much from him.

I can sense my insecurity.

Poor him, putting up with this nonsense of mine but i enjoyed listening to him explaining.

I keep pushing him away but he stayed. It makes me feel how important i am to him.

It was really silly, pushing him away to a can of soup.

I share pictures of my new nephew with him. He said he wanted his own too. I told him with advanced medical science, it can be done. After going a round, he explained no way he would be able to have a proper courtship with someone who lived far away. I tried to push him off again, telling him to find someone close by but his response makes me smile.

I am just being pushy today, forcing for a term of us tonight. He knows he makes me upset. He apologized again.

I know I'm being tough on him so I ended on a happy note & embrace whatever is left behind.

When's the New beginning?

There are nights I wonder when will my heart beats again?
There are times I wonder when will this pain I’m feeling coming to an end?
There are days I wonder when will I ever stop crying again?

There are people who been telling me I’ll get over it someday but I wonder if it will be happening?

Tonight, I wonder when will that someday begin. Will I meet a new someone again? When will a new starts begins? Will you be the one I’ll be seeing? If it is not you, what am I suppose to do then?

Because deep inside I know only you can make me breathe again….

His thoughts... His lines..

Your friendship and love, And all the wonderful things That they bring into my life, are like nothing else I have ever known.
My heart is complete With the love we share, And our love grows more Beautiful each day.
I love you, And as long as we are together, I have everything I need.
You are with me always... In a smile, a memory, a feeling Or a moment we share.
You will always be My Forever Love


Feelings that once were hidden Are now expressed to you. Days that once were stormy Are now the brightest blue.
Times that once were lonely are now filled with pleasure. All that once was mine alone are now things we both treasure.
Nights that once were cold Are now comforting and warm. Fears that once were very real are now gone with the storm.
A heart that once was broken Can now finally mend. A person once alone in life Can now call you a friend.
Dreams that once were longed for Are now all coming true. The love I once thought was gone I have now and forever in you.


I’d give anything to see the sun set on the horizon, I’d do anything to gaze at a full moon in the night sky; Even a rainbow would make me smile, And I’d love to swim in crystal clear waters Of an untouched sea; Sometimes I’ll see a shooting star, And try to gaze from afar, All the diamonds in the night sky; The mist on the mountains is breathtaking, As is walking in rainforest; To see cascading waterfalls I’d do anything for, As to stand on the highest peak in the world, And look at the sights below; I’d love to soar on wings above the clouds, Across the bluest skies; I’d do anything to see All the beautiful things in the world, Like a red rose blooming in the Sahara, Like a river twisting through a dusty land, All the beautiful things in the world;
But I also know I am looking at The world’s most beautiful creation, Every time you smile, And every time I look into your eyes.


You walked lightly into my life Captivating and lovely to my mind, At first, I never cared who you were Now I don’t know who I am without you, You kissed me I felt my world change, You held me I heard my heart awaken, You loved me And my soul was born anew You walked lightly into my life Now my heart knows who you are And with every breath And every step I take down lonely roads, Your hand is my staff Your voice is my guide Your strength my shelter You’re passion my awakening. You walked lightly into my life, And all my pain You took as your own, And all my fears You cast into the sea, All my doubt Lost in your eyes, You walked lightly into my life And no matter if you choose to stay or go, My life is forever changed, Just because you loved me For a moment in time. And because I choose To love you For the rest of mine.

Credits to Him

I hate how it takes you 45 minutes to reply to me while i answer right away..

Time to Come Clean

We came clean, in a way. Confessing how we feel about each other & where is this leading us to.

I told him i hope this is not a dream. He came on strong, certain about what this is, what he wants, where we are heading.

I shared my inner thoughts with him for the first time, there's so much to say but so little time.

It seems to me we wanted the same thing with the same fear in our mind.

We learnt about how much we mean to each other. I feel so much within this moment & i can't describe how it is. I feel him just as much as he feels me. Holding on to it & hoping this is reality.

The first time it means so much to me when he said he loves me.

Just when i wanted the moment to last, he passed out on me....

Holiday! Vacation!

I was worried about him, after the call got hung up earlier. I stay up waiting for him even though I'll be leaving town in the next 3 hours. It's weird this time because i can't sense my excitement on this surprise trip planned for me.

I tried to call him again but it didn't get through. I don't know where he is. Then, I texted him & he replied. I told him i'll be leaving in an hour, he said he will try to get away for awhile to call me. That makes me happy but i waited in vain.

I guess it's now my problem with the expectations i'm having. Ironically, i always said, expectations is what that kills.

I know it's time to let loose & stop wanting to be in it.

I've lost eternity in my possession & love left me when you are no longer feeling it.
I wonder if i really do have it all to give you all you need. Or is it just me, only me, falling & rushing in too quick?

I can feel your confusion through your words & kisses.
I wonder if you still remember the one who was falling head over heels, impulsive saying & claiming how much our love is how deep our love can be.
You left silence running in our conversation while i try my best to keep smiling & brush it past.
I wonder if you know how badly I wish to hold you in my arms tight, to be selfish for once having all of you for a night.

I turn cold & distant to make it easier for me. I will gladly take this pain knowing you are loved & smiling without me.
I will gladly pretend this is a beautiful mistake we made along our way so that you can leave me. Should you want to, please do so before i find it's harder for me to speak....

Please forgive me, for being so weak.
Please forgive me, for not telling how much pain this causes me.
Please forgive me, for my immaturity.
Please forgive me, for my vulnerability, my heart bleeds.
Lastly, please forgive me, for i know i will never be able to forget you completely.

Stay away before it gets too late...

I am pushing him away. I can sense myself withdrawing. He got me in Skype. asking me to call him but i declined.

It's time to stop myself from moving & indulging into it. Its time to call it quit before someone get hurts real badly.

He didn't stop coming close. It's late & he should be sleeping. He called me a distraction to him. I spoke about the thin visible line again & he apologised.

I keep telling him how much i hate him because this helps to reminds me to stay clear of pain, hurt that i see coming close to me.

We are talking too much, sharing too much, feeling too much for each other these days.

I think its time for me to clear my head.

Missing in actions...

He went missing for a night. Thousands of pictures comes into my mind.

He came back texting me after. I don't know why but i flared. I was angry, worried, tired & upset. He apologised. He didn't mean to do that & if that hurt me in any ways. I don't know if he understands what i am trying to explain but i guess i am too tired to fight, to make him understand. So, i left.

The first time, I'm anxious of a stranger...a familiar one.

This is not moving along right...

A Pasta in exchange for a Hug, A Poem in exchange for a Kiss

My curiousity is getting more of me.

Found him in Facebook. I texted him. The Werewolf.

Now, thinking about it, should i be careful? It seems that i'm getting obsessed in this.

I'm pushing him away but he doesn't stop moving close. Will this be a nightmare?

This is what i call a Love-Hate relationship. There are moments of hated in our conversations but with a certain amount of love input in.

Why am i worried? Am i afraid to peruse but yet wanting to get close to him more everyday?

This is confusing. Emotions complicate things. Should i be falling......

Cranky Days

I'm getting more cranky these days. Work stress.

The first time he text me on his lunch break. Talking about his work, moving on to a birthday present for me. Promising me that anything is possible, as long as it does not involve his death or excruciating pain. I won't let that happen for sure as it will take all my fun away.

I'm a devil today.

I can't wait till my birthday trip comes. Been really tired & energy drained out lately. Looking forward for the coming of July! Hooray!

Topic of Cloning 10 of me to run the errands & only to keep the original for him. When i mentioned Original is not for sale, he is willing to give up the whole world, make daily payments on patent & copy right. That put a smile on my face today!

But, his horror line makes me jumped.

The conversation runs long. I can't remember the last time i'm talking to someone like that. He's the last person i speak to before i sleep, & the 1st person i'm talking to when i'm awake.

It's getting insane.

Just a Friend....

"I'm proud of my heart, It's been played, stabbed, cheated, burned & broken. But somehow still works"

There are too many thoughts going through my mind tonight. With him around just seems to complicate things more even though i enjoyed sharing my thoughts with him. Somehow i feel "Naked" because he seems to read my mind.

i don't know how it started but in the midst of our conversation, he asked me what i think about him. I honestly replied that i enjoyed talking to him. Am i letting my guard down?

His hugs are meant for a friend. I quoted onto him. The conversation flows deeper.

I have warned, how words matters very much to me. Keeping the thin line visble at all times, not to cross over. Take me as i am or watch me as i go.

He asked me to just be Me for him. He takes me as i am. He seem to understands & he cares. He sees little of my pain & he can sense that. It is similar to his.

He promised never to hurt me no matter what happens because we ae friends.

The first time i called him, today. He sounds surprised. I told him not to do that in future so to save the IDD's charges.

Still, we got excited & work on other applications so we can have real time chat. It seems that he got really happy & excited about it. Asking me on the time to call so that he won't be a disturbance. He is willingly to stay up just to make calls.

And all of this, for a friend....

We been talking everynight. He came to me, asking for uplifting Sammy words. I don't know why, but it affects me knowing he is upset.

One thing for sure i know, in between our conversation, i am keeping my distance. But he is coming close, quick & strong & I know i am indulging in it.

This does not seems right but i'm happy talking to him. It's been a long while since i pay this amount of attention on someone, making the effort & going the extra mile for someone.

I wonder why is this so, why am i feeling this way. However even with all my Buts & Maybes, i enjoyed, what he calls, Sammy time.

& then again, he passed out on me...

He came back talking to me, apologising that he fell asleep in between. He came back with questions of me. We exchanges little quotes of life, joking & laughing on how ironic life can be.

A quote of mine draw the distance between us....
"Everyone thinks i'm such a happy person & i have it all together.
What they don't know is that i'm dying in the inside. I don't have it all togther.
I'm falling apart"

He expressed his concerns. Why do i feel them so real? It's just like he is next to me when we are far apart.

It seems that he is moving closer. Should i or should i not?

The Thron-Sammy moments, i think i'm indulging into it.

The First Time

There seems to be something wrong with him. I took initative to text him insted. Its not the usual me as i don't practise that but something in me, telling me to do it.

He started with a disclaimer that he's not an ass or a jerk or anything. That amuses me. He asked me not to hurt him with what he's going to tell me. That aroused my curiousity. The suspense & mystery part of him comes into light.

This is my first time talking to him, a real conversation, knowing more about him. A long story i must say, however he sums it up but it's upsetting to know how much he had gone through.

This is my first time, listening to him, a real conversation. I can sense his confusion through his voice. His pain, his fears. A short version of his life, he said. This short version summary took 2 hours to listen & to understand his thoughts over the years.

This is my first time, having a moment with him touching on harsh reality & difficult thoughts, making him who he is today. A brave man.

Surprisingly, i'm glad he felt better after talking to me. I showed him pictures of my office surrounding, part of my life.

It's a nice moment with him, before he passed out on me..

Spending time with you showed me what I’ve been missing in my life. Watching you from this distance I feel my heartbeat racing on again.

When East Meets West

I must say, i was caught in surprise when he mentioned to text me.

He apologised, for the bad joke he made. He seems sincere & wanted to be friends.

I seems defensive at the start of the conversation. After the incident, I stay distant though I've seen him around but only to exchange greeting words.

However, he seems mysterious & I don't know why but I'm interested to know the story behind.

I’m telling you what you already know but afraid to admit to. Don’t deny for acceptance is the key to moving on with the rest of your life.

Don't Silence Me!

If i'm not allow to speak, just let me know.

I'll keep my words to myself & silence in the room.

When our lips meet, I know that nothing in this world can compare to this single moment. My first kiss to the man of my dreams. At this instant I know, my love will last forever. This will change me forever. At this moment I know, no matter how hard I try, this feeling will never go away.

You are my addiction which makes me wish if only we were closer.

Don’t try too hard to hear what your heart is telling you to do. Don’t ignore that feeling because you will never know what might happen.

It's not about following your heart and it's not about keeping your promises. It's about security.

The Rotten Game of Love

We exist in a dangerous situation, our hands tied up, constraint in the other part of ourselves. We are holding onto each other as hostages, point guns at each other, waits for the moment where the trigger goes off & plugged.

I first thought this is the definition of our love so I keep guard. Just as love revolved & turned into a rotten game of suspicions & doubts. The thumb rule is to hold our breaths as we inch closer to each other, sitting close, shoulder to shoulder. I indulged in your tenderness & if you love me, I shall not fear the splint.

This game ended when I felt the gunshot pierced through my heart. With the blaring sound that goes off, everything turns into ashes & returns to a new start. We released each other as a hostage, ending the purity of our love in a sorry state.

Are you truly happy now? Are you truly satisfied now? Let’s stop lying. I don’t want to be struck in this rotten game of Love.

Despite the pain, I thank you for coming into my life, giving me courage & joy. I thank you for loving me & receiving my love in kind. I thank you for the memories we made that I will cherish forever. Most of all, I thank you for showing me the time when I can eventually let you go. I watch with a breaking heart as you slowly fade away.

I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours.

Whenever i think of you, I'll smile & my life catches a ray of light.
I get hypnotized whenever i look into your eyes.

Yet another sleepless night, because i've realise
An abrupt wrong move, is all it takes
Your betrayal in love, you taking this as a gamble.
While i fall into the darkness....

I still remember,
your absurd reasons, your foolishness.
that cause my heart to shatter,
I bleed & i wonder,
is this the time to call it over?

I still remember, when we first met
You said its time for you to stop wander.
For our love is pure & simple
I said the drifting between us has return,
For you made too many promises.

My tears makes me feel helpless,
My love endured the insults you made,
My effort to learn to forgive & take,
I'm unwilling to let this die halfway.
But the hurt makes me cries,
Its causing me pain.

Maybe there will be this oneday,
You will realize & i've left,
The wound might heal
& love.. will find me once again.

Your love awakens my soul and makes me reach out for more that plant a fire in my heart and brings peace to my mind.

Love leaves a Memory that noone can steal...

But sometimes,

It leaves a heartache that noone can heal....

The emotion that break my heart might be the very one that heals it. You make it possible for two people to fall in love all over again despite a lifetime of disappointment.

如果你发现爱让你不自由，
请你说出口。

因为我不会让快乐和自私做我的借口。

我们两，这一路是个未知数。

你说，你只曾看过我在他怀里难过的哭。
而你相信该学会为拥抱的人辛苦，因为那是幸福。

我想我们这一路忘了曾爱上的是彼此的糊涂，
忘了在彼此的世界里住。
忘了陪伴彼此的路。

我忘了该为你而哭。
而你却为我痛苦。

你说，下一步就会知道胜负。如果一开始就是为了结束，那也是你的幸福！

A very ordinary thing seems extraordinary when I’m with you.

I look into the mirror & I know I’m looking at someone who isn’t sure is she deserves to be loved or is she worthy to be loved. It seems to far-fetch to believe but at the same time too obvious to ignore. I was in love & the feeling was even much more wonderful than one can imagine.

The word beauty does not exist even if you are attractive without your intelligence, patience, Optimism, kindness & your smile that makes this world a better place.

你说，在爱情里你很笨。
只想追逐永恒。
就算只有那一点点的可能，
你宁愿笨也会奋不顾身。

你是否知道，每个人都会遇见错的人。
而爱的深，会让人沉沦，会使人牺牲。
而爱的真，会让人满身伤痕。

爱情有时并不可靠却能使人往里面跳。

而你我却因此陷入了这个大牢。

Be here to love me, to hold me in your arms & to protect me.

I am scared not because of what you told me but because of how much I want to say it too. I love you.

Just as the pieces all fit together, yet everything is falling apart. It makes perfect sense but at the same time nothing seems to be. However there isn’t a choice because love does funny things to people.

Who am i...

I’m just a common person with common thoughts, leading a common life. I try my very best to live my life. Do what is right for me, trying not to hurt anyone in the midst of growing up while people changed, Circumstances changed. I’ve come across people in my life who had said the right words at the right times however in the end, it’s always their actions that will be judge upon. It’s always the actions not words that matters…. It’s the actions that define one. It is defined not by what one does but by what one is.

I have learned to find out who I am & what I want. I am chasing my dream, while in the midst, I learned about my capabilities & limitations with the value of hard work & persistence. People that I thought I’ve known forever might never stay the same. We grow & we change. They might not see things the way I do anymore. I will always keep these wonderful memories & finding myself moving on. I will not join in the crowd who lived their lives acting & pretending, putting on a mask but lost themselves in the process of living. It isn’t about finding out where I am going but to figure out what I can do when I get there. There might be regrets in this journey but I'm sure it will not be on the destination.

I know there will be nothing much at the end of my time that will be dedicated to me and my name might be soon forgotten as time goes by. People who loved me will only be able to recall my actions. But in one aspect, I wish I will succeed as gloriously as anyone who ever able to. It is to love another with all my heart and soul. Being the ordinary loving an extraordinary one in my life. That for me, will be enough in this lifetime.

I lied because I care

我猜不透。。。。

你是我心中的一把琐。
我无法了解你心中想的，
无法知道你脑子里梦的。
无法明白你嘴里说的。

你忽热忽冷的态度，
忽远忽近的声音，
时好时坏的眼神，
让我猜不透。

我好像早已无法感觉你的触摸，是真的，是爱的。
我心里为你上了琐。

如果一切是为了让彼此不寂寞，使彼此走错了，
那我宁愿回到一个人生活，不曾对你认真过。

The art of lazy benefits everyone when done correctly.

Don’t give up on love because you’ll find someone special again. It’s in the nature of people who have been in love before. And you know that somehow every steps you take is a step towards finding that someone special.

You are, and always have been, my dream.

If you like me, if I makes you happy, if you feel like you know me, then please don’t ever let me go.

You made me fall in love, despite our differences. It is something rare and beautiful that we have created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seal in my memory because I do not want to forget a single moment of it.

You are standing next to me.
Why can't you hear my heartbeat?
It skips a beat everytime you are near me.

You are looking at me.
Why can't you look closer into my eyes?
It flashes your image everytime when you walk by.

You are sitting close to me.
Why can't you feel me?
You give me the warmth i need.

or, perhaps, i am just that far away from your heart?

你的微笑，
你的关怀，
你的拥抱，
你的体温，
你的吻，

触动了我。

我们是不是一点缘份加一点寂寞，
或一点好感加一点冲动，
才依靠在彼此的怀抱中？

我认为爱情就是全心全意对你，带给你快乐
只要你真心真意对我，带给我温柔
这样单纯就是美丽的感动
这样就足够。
　
浪漫到底是什么？
幸福又算是什么？
而到最后，永远是什么？

我拚命努力的找答案却发现我的心越不自由。

爱不就是当我抱你，你的心我懂
爱就是当你看我，我的心你懂
我要的不多，这样就足够。

我只想让爱愉快。
彼此不隐藏，不怀疑，就没有伤害。
你我不苛求，不泪流，就能永远开怀。

留住每一个现在，编织成未来。
不管多少人在变，　多少事在改，
我们只要固执的相爱

用乐观，细心的等待是否就能期待美好未来？
我凭什么相信你会爱护我？

我让自己认定你，所以放不开手。
但我的心却独自跳的好寂寞。

幸福也许是一场美梦。
它需要俩个人认同才会有。
而我像是被挡在它的门口。

我已经无力再向前走。
爱到了最后，只剩回忆和歉意。
是我太糊涂还是爱走到了尽头？
在怎么付出还是留不住。

我心里有数，心像被控出。
爱情早已只是一场演出。

我会练习祝福你。。。。

我选择假装一切都好。
也许我在逃跑。
不敢对你说出我需要你这座城堡。

我们说好，下一次见面，
就会是快乐的起跑。

在那刻的到来前，
我会努力的微笑。
学着挑战孤独。
不让自己哭！

哥，我又想起你......

In the snippets of life,
We struggle before we surrender
We fight before we give up hopes
We need to learn in order to grow

Wherever you are,whatever it may be,
Always remember
You are to be a fighter,never a winner
For a winner lay rest after winning
But a fighter never stop believing the importance of struggling in the midst of hard times!

This I'll pledge
For the fighter in my heart!

Sir,I trust you,in me!

I know you are somewhere out there...

Whatever I want
whatever it might be

Whatever I dream
whatever it is

Whatever I need
whatever you are made up of

Whenever I want to dance
Wherever you'lll be
I know I will not dance alone...
Because you will be there tapping your feet with me!

让我慢慢的靠近。。。

我站在远方，傻傻的看着你。
渴望拉近这距离，能和你在一起。
真希望这一切不只是梦境。

我努力告诉自己要冷静。
可是脑海里却无法不想你。
是你对我有戒心？ 还是我没有自信？
只能偷偷的暗恋你！

我站在安静的街头，在这里守候着你。
你可以对我说出你的心情。
你可以握住我的手心。
你可以在我的怀里休息。

我渴望看见你，就算只是在梦里。
你传的简讯使我拥有短暂的甜蜜。
你的声音使我微笑，心情开心。

也许这一切没有快乐的结局。
也许我会因此死了心。
但我愿意付出我所有的诚意，
希望能感动你。

I saw your footprints in the sand... ;)

I could barely breathe......

我，现在的心情。。。

终于结束了这一天。
不知为何，
心里有种难过，酸酸的心情。

我想找个人安慰，但是你却不在身边。

我不落泪，强忍着泪水。
留着这感觉，紧紧的闭上双眼。

想象自己停留在时间
让自己在空中停一停歇。
希望能赶快重新光看这个世界，
也许会让自己好过一点。

完美，不完美。。。

结束了这一次的旅程。
完正，但却似乎能感受一丝的不完美。

你，突然的出现使我好惊讶。
这，是一个美丽的惊喜！
好久不见的你，看来依旧。
依然拥有着那笨笨的笑脸。
你手心的温度依然是如此的温暖。
拥抱着你，我开心的笑，心却激动的跳。
好想把时间停留在这一秒。

送你离开的那一刻，
我假裝分离不重要，卻发现自己辦不到。
拥抱着你，我努力的微笑，眼泪却拼命的飙。

和你说再見，我害怕会见不到。
我不能放手，担心失去你的味道。
深怕我以后会找不到。

我知道你需要离开到另一个世界咆哮。
我忍着痛，努力的让自己眼泪不掉。
我们约定，会很快再回到当初早已说好，陪伴彼此，一直到老。

我闭上眼睛，不让自己看见你离去的背影。
但我的心，却希望能再一次紧紧的拥抱，
就算一分一秒都好。

I don't wanna be alone in any story's pages.
While the night has fallen,
I try my best to hold on to whatever.

I wanna run away from this world that is on fire.
It seems like it's more than I can handle
I've tried to bring what i am able.
I wanna dive straight into the water,
To cool it & leave it under

I wanna be hidden away from this world where the sky has fallen.
Perhaps it's more than I can handle
I've tried to take what i am able.
Bring it along with me, Wherever.
To keep it safe, no matter.

I am thinking of something,
Something that i can do to change the moment.
To speak out loud whenever
But, there's a fear that hits me
which is more than i can handle.

Will you?

It was a past that i didn't choose
In the deep endless night, darkness slipped in
But there you stand, shining light, i can feel your warmth in me

I will remember you
But, will you remember me?
I will not tear thinking of those memories

You are so near.. yet so far...

I can feel the distance between us...

不属于我的世界

你不属于我的世界，
而我不属于你的世界。

只因，你早已做了选择。
而我也选择了默默的祝福你。

只愿你真的快乐！

再见了，我曾梦想过的你。

我是成熟了，还是变老了？

成熟不是心变老，而是眼泪在眼里打转却还保持微笑。

十号男生

我找到了一位迷失方向的十号男生！

我的委屈，你的感受。。。。

人总是只在乎自己的委屈，
却因此忽視了對方的感受。

而就这样的，
不自覺地傷害了身边最親密的人。

我好想说。。。

我转头看着你，希望这一秒不要停止。
我多么的想告诉你，我有多么在乎你！

当五号遇见了十号

不知不觉中，我在他的潜意识变成了＂第五号＂

=D

而他也不知不觉中在我的潜意识变成了＂第十号＂

=D

我只是我 。。。

我该欣然接受
每一个季节里都有合适的花朵
在自己的旅程中都坚持着
是非曲折 本来就是必然试炼
悲欢又离合 纵然再难舍
我真心的把这点滴藏在心中

我只是我，平凡的一个我
在天地的面前我选择继续往前走
我只是我，在这个时代中，千帆过尽

谁在我心中
我又为谁留下什么

我只求留下不亢不卑的解说

此刻，我只想找到出口。。。

如果就是明天，我还是会祝福你。
而你，会不会也祝福我？

归零。。。。

就让一切归零。
零是开始，也是结束。
它是起点，也是终点。

零是美好的，因为找不出残缺！

对不起，我想我没有那么的爱你。

度过了没有你的日子里，我从新再一次认识我自己。。。
我想应该要说声谢谢你！因为你，因为经过了这些，我让自己更了解我的心。。。
更相信生活仍然拥有奇迹！

开心的和朋友谈心，
幸福的和家人一起，
自由的飞行，

好久没有这般的快乐涌进我的生活里，
不再有一种压力。

这时，我想我真正的明白，你可能只是我想排挤寂寞心灵的一个工具而已。。

如果真的是，我想对你说，
对不起，我想我没有那么的爱你。

最可悲的莫过于自始至终，故事里所有的美丽对白，都注定是独白。因为入戏的，只有我一人

忘记你....

有些日子，是不用在日历上做记号，也永远记得。
有些记忆，是不用每天去想，闭上眼睛就看得到。
我一直都相信，如果没法忘记你，那就不要忘记好了。

因为真正的忘记，是不需要努力的。

Its time...

Its Time.. to say goodbye!

Goodbye to you, to us, to the wonderful past!

我真的累了。。。

我们是不是走到了终点，
是不是该放开手，让你我得到自由？

爱一个人

如果你不爱一个人,
请放手.
好让别人有机会爱她.

如果你爱的人放弃了你,
请放开自己,
好让自己有机会爱别人.

有的东西你再喜欢也不会属于你的,
有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃的.

有些缘分是注定要失去的,
有些缘分是永远都不会有好结果的,

爱一个人

不一定要拥有,
但拥有一个人就一定要好好的去爱她.

男人哭了是因为他真的爱了.
女人哭了是因为她真的放弃了.

如果真诚是一种伤害,
我选择谎言;
如果谎言一种伤害,
我选择沉默;
如果沉默是一种伤害,
我选择离开.

如果失去是苦，
你怕不怕付出?
如果迷乱是苦，
你会不会选择结束?
如果追求是苦，
你会不会执迷不悟?
如果分离是苦,
你要向谁倾诉?

好多事情都是后来才看清楚,

你懂的...

该怎么才能让你懂呢？
谁对谁错是否很重要呢？
每次的争吵，你我都处理得有点笨拙。

你是否曾经后悔过？
后悔每次争吵，那时候说过负气的话呢？
你又是否埋怨过我？
埋怨我每次争吵后，都不知所错？

你是否知道，
我从来没有像这一次如此爱过
想念你的时候，常常会让我无法负荷
我常常只有一个念头
一个念头 - 我真的真的好想你！
而我对你的爱是不会死掉的！

请你不要再说：“对不起，我爱你！“
因为我害怕听见你的对不起!

我。。。生病了。。

近来真的好累。不管做什么，就错什么。

感觉快不能呼吸了。

不过还好有你。

今晚，感谢你。

谢谢你，来带我回家。
谢谢你，陪我一起吃晚饭。
谢谢你，带我去看医生。
谢谢你，一直这样的陪伴着我，不让我一个人寂寞，不让我一个人难过。

我想要说：“我真心感谢你！因为有你。你是一种动力！我生命中重要的人物。“

你是我的避风港。。

躲在你怀抱里，总能感到安稳。

你总会把我推到你身后，为我挡风雨，害怕我有任何闪失。

你的温柔就是这样的，静静的，紧紧地，不能分离。

就是你，你就是我的避风港！

时间过的好慢长。今天是我们第二的纪念日。

我过的很开心。因为有你。

和你一起欣赏夜景，在离地面高高的地方，这个情景，我永远不会忘。

我真的真的好爱你。

第一次因为你感到如此的害怕...

第一次想要停下脚步大声的痛哭..

我不希望得到回报可是我希望你懂得我的爱...

因为你

今晚的月亮好美...因为有你...

where i belongs

In your arms is where i belongs... =D

你是我的幸福吗？

你是我的幸福吗？这个问题不断的在我脑海里一遍又一遍的重复。

我真的爱上了你。真心的爱上了你。但是，你呢？是真心的吧！

我害怕的是这只是个梦境。因为幸福和梦想之间的距离往往只有一线之差。

你给我的这一切，是真的吧？！

请你真心的做我的幸福好吗？

因为，我想做你最后的幸福。。。让一切都不变直到永远永远。。

选择。。。

你叫我想一想后再给你一个答复。我笑了笑，高兴的是你终于开口了。但，我担心的是，你是否是因为在这时候只是需要一个人在你身边而却不是因为你是真心的？

这一切发生的太快了。我有点不知所措，心好乱。

可是，我可以确定的是，在你身边的时候，我就有一种不再寂寞的幸福感觉。

我想知道的是，我爱的是你，还是那幸福感？还是，我们都是在害怕寂寞的感觉？

永远的朋友？

一份友情的定义到底是什么？而一份友情的价值又是多少？

我反复的问自己，身为一位好朋友，我是不是做的不够好？是不是我还是付出得不够多？为何我如今还是无法使你真正了解这份友谊在我心中有多少的分量？

我真心的付出，为何只见你不停的拿，我只好不停的给。为什么给的好像永远都不够？而为什么我好像永远都无法得到真心的回应。

难道，是我的问题？是我对这份友谊拥有着过分的要求？还是，这就是友谊的原貌？
给的人永远只会受伤。

我真的乱了。我只懂经过了这么多年的友情，换来得是一种伤心。

我真的累了。认识我多年的你，难道还不了解我疲惫的心?

我真的精疲力尽。

此刻，我只想找个出口。。。

对不起，这三个字我还没来得及。。。

你问的问题，我一直都没有忘记。事实上，它一直回荡在我的脑海里。

我知道，你一直陪伴在我的左右，一直很细心的照顾着早已厌倦是非的我。就算我奥尔会向你破口大骂，把你当做我的垃圾桶。就算我奥尔会向你做无理的要求，你也总是会回应我。

我拿起的勇气，不知为何，总有一阵一阵的疼痛在我心中。拿起了手机，拨了你的号码，听着电话的铃声，这感觉上是一种漫长的等待。你是不是也和我有一样？每次打电话给我的时候也是这种感觉。

你终于接听了。听见你的声音我不经叹了口气。你叫我等你，我听见你和其他的人说声对不起。我想你应该是在开会吧。接着听见你的脚步和风声，我知道你一定是走到了一个没有人的地方。我用了一种抱歉的口音，请你不要让我打扰你。你的回应是你那帅气的笑声，叫我别傻了。你说和我交谈是一种非常有用的解压方式。可是，我想今天要和你说的话，会让你失望。

我想对你坦白。不想再困住你。这，对你不公平。

在我的童话故事里，一直都有你的身影。唯一很可惜的是，你扮演的角色是一位勇敢的骑士而不是和公主有约定的王子。我虽然早已讨厌等待，但我仍相信生命的奇迹。我心里永远都有著一个相信。相信王子还是会赶来拯救快进入危机的公主。

你很安静，静静的听。我知道，我伤害了你。当我还来不及对你说对不起，你却轻声的告诉我你不想再听。

就这样，我们挂线了。

对不起，我知道我不该困住你，不该让你眼中有泪滴。我希望，这样的公平还来得及。

你的位置。。。

知道你已经回到你该在的目的地。不知为何，很高兴今晚能听见你的声音。也许是因为你的声音总是有办法让我感觉安全，让我的心安定。

在睡前，我要求你讲个故事给我听，好让我甜密的进入梦境。你笑了笑。在电话的那头，我能感觉你一定又是觉得我很任性。你说，如果大家知道我也有这样的一面，他们一定会很震撼，会很惊愕，还有可能有些会因此而休克。但是，你最后，可能是因为无法对付我的霸道，还是讲了个故事给我听。

我用心在聆听。。静静地。。很快的，我进入了那完美的童话故事里。我问你，我有没有可能成为故事里那美丽又漂亮的公主，可以拥有真爱，得到真爱的真谛？这样的问题换来你的笑声。这样的笑声好熟悉。我知道如果你现在在这里，你一定会温柔的拍拍我的手心。你很肯定的回答我：“会！“ 不知，你这样的回答是否是一种安慰还是因为你依然相信？真心得相信这世界里，依然拥有着真爱的存在。

在还没挂线前，你突然问我，在我的童话故事里，你扮演的是什么角色？你的问题使我有一些些的惊讶。那一瞬间，我真的无法回答你。可是，我想告诉你，你对我而言是一位很重要的人。因为在我很多重要的回忆里，都有你。所以，虽然我现在无法给你个答案但我相信在以后的日子里，我都希望会有你。这，我可以很确定。

谢谢你 =D

我想谢谢你，今天的点点滴滴。

谢谢你，今天一早就出现在我眼前。
谢谢你，给我你一天的时间。
谢谢你，送我我最爱的太阳花。
谢谢你，没有忘记。


真的，很谢谢你。

我因为你，很感动，很开心。

有距离的爱情。。。

好久没和你聊天，很开心在今晚看见你的出现。和你谈起近况，看来大家最近真的好忙。你问我那张特别的机票到底何时才会兑现？你说爱一个人，就算分开一秒，也觉得好久不见。

可是，我觉得，距离虽然会令恋人思念。但有距离的爱情会更美丽。
你用一种感叹来代替你的回应。
我笑了笑，话到了嘴边，我却只是静静的看着你。

我想对你说，爱情里，只要真正的互相喜欢，不管有任何距离，都会越来越近。其实我们的距离没有想象的那么遥远。只要愿意，我们也可以很近。

可是，或许，是我的问题。是我不愿意。对不起。

我只想保持最单纯的原貌。。。。

悲伤。。。

我想对你说，现在的我，不需要过度的悲伤。。。

因为你对我而言实在太重要了，所以我让我们只是朋友的关系。永远的朋友。因为这样就没有分离。

你知道吗，不在你身边的时候，我总会想念你。

离开了这个城市，到了另一个城市去，我知道现在的你应该坚强多了吧！我相信我也会和你一样，努力的学习该如何更坚强，更快乐的度过每一天。

我们的故事？

我们的故事不曾开始，便结束的痛楚。。。

永远

永远，是一个美丽又悲伤的名词。

爱情，也许，可能。。。

爱情，也许，可能，原来就不可能完全圆满。只能说是妥协下的结果。

Sending someone off again

Changi International Airport, I have mix feelings about it. Should i be happy or should i be upset about this?

I can't believe, its you, departing. I've never imagine you to be the one. The one that i have hold on for so long. I can never forget the look on your face when you disclosed the news to me. You were confused. So was I. I know there will be an end to everything & i truly believe this is the path you should take.

We had some drinks before the rest reached. Your farewell dinner. The slience between us when we sat down there facing each other. In my mind, i was thinking, will this be the last time its happening? You were quiet as usual.

Finally, bidding goodbye to you right outside the departure hall. My eyes went red. The pact that we had - please believe me, i did try my best not to let my tears fall. The last hug we had, you said you are having second thoughts on leaving.

I smiled and rushed you in because i am afraid you might missed the flight. We promised to keep in contact. The last kiss on my forehead, i hold on to you tightly for the last time.


我喜欢和你相处的时光，不说话还是有不说话的幸福存在。

The Best Decision

I seems to be at the crossroads at the moment. There are so many options to choose from and I am seriously looking at the BEST decision that i can make. In a confused mood, on the journey back to office, sitting in the bus, talking to Vannessa. I asked her in regards to the BEST decision. She smiled and asked me my defination for the Best decision. She told me her views which gives me a deep impact. I have been thinking about it the whole day. .

I then realised :

Perhaps, there is no Best decision. You can balance and weigh all of the options that you have but in the end, the choice that you made will be the one that you feel most comfortable with. Perhaps, the easier way out. Do you feel that at times, even though u are given many different routes but the one that you choose might not be the shortest yet you feel good about it.

Its quite funny, but i guess somehow deep inside me, i already had make up my mind. I guess, i just needed reassurance from others that the decision that i've made is the best among all other ways.

I shouldn't be that confused. =) Finally, things will be moving along smooth. I hope.

我想，是我们的心跳的距离太远，产生不了共鸣。

此时，我却只有我一个人。。。。

第一次。。。

第一次觉得回家的路是如此遥远，当你不在的时候。
第一次觉得有点迷糊，当你不在的时候。
第一次觉得有点不知所措，当你不在的时候。

我没有哭。只是心中有点苦涩，有点心酸，有点心痛。

世界再美，也美不过你的微笑。。

Someday, I will understand

Nothing seems to be the way that it used to
Every thing seems shallow
God give me truth,
In me,
And tell me somebody's watching
Over me,
And that is all I'm praying is that

[chorus:]
Someday, I will understand
In God's whole plan
And what he's done to me
Oh, but maybe, someday I will breathe
And I'll finally see,
I'll see it all in my baby

Don't you run too fast, my dear
Why don't you stop?
Just stop and listen to your tears
They're all you've got

It's in you,
You see,
Somebody's watching over you
And that is all I'm praying is that

[chorus:]
Someday, You will understand
In God's whole plan
And what he does to you
Oh but baby, someday you will breathe
And you'll finally see
You'll see it all in your baby
You'll see it all in your baby

No moment will be more true
Than the moment I look at you

It's in you,
You see,
Somebody is watching over you
And that is all I'm praying is that...

[chorus:]
Someday you will understand
In God's whole plan
And what it does to you
Oh, but, baby,
Someday you will breathe
And you'll finally see
You'll see it all in your baby

You'll see it all in your baby
You'll see it all in your baby
You'll see it all in your baby

It's ....

It's the heart, afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance.
It's the dream, afraid of waking, that never takes a chance.
It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give.
And the soul, afraid of dyin', that never learns to live.

不要坦心，我们的距离就只有一个心跳而已。

To : The One that is meant 4 Me...

I am still waiting
4 the right time to come,
4 the right place to be,
2 meet u in dazzling light!

then i shall wait
4 time to blossom,
4 days to go pass,
2 hold ur hands and never be sorry to tell u, all i wanted to say.

Still, where are u?!

I have been searching and looking all where near me. All glances i have made, all smiles i have moved, just 4 that one sweet dae...
just to find , the one and onli one that is meant 4 Me.....

Falling for you..

Who should be the sun and who will be the moon? I am just a starlight still searching for you. Wondering what colour will you bring into my life? When will be the right time for me to be falling head over heels for you? With all of my heart, make mi feel so true. Right from the start, When can i start falling for u? With all of my dreams, the love will grow deep within. I can't help myself .

Just to tell u, I think i'm falling for u...

人们说：“真爱，会在欢笑的阳光里”。

可惜，我早已不是那道阳光了。

停停留留

你，愿不愿意试一试让我在你心中停留？

太有分量的回忆

我带不走回忆，因为太重了。

When i feel that hope is gone, will you give me the strength to stand tall? Each and every conversations of ours, will there always be something new, to keep the love growing strong? Will you, always be here next to me readily to wipe those tears away? OR will you, only let me cry those happy tears?

Do you see the questions in my eyes? Do you know what is weighing on my mind? Will you, ever make mistakes that will tear me apart? Will you, change like the seasons does? Will you, build my dreams with your own hands? Do i need to ask you if you still care? Will you be there, when the thunder roars and rain drops start to fall? Will you, shine the light of love on me?

in this world where anything goes in their pace and own way....

我自豪的最高防备都会因此而瓦解。

我的世界里，没有等待两个字，更不允许回头。

Changes..

在这世界上，唯一不变的就是改变。

The only thing that is never-changing in this world will be CHANGES!


I am changing, every minute, every second. I am taking in new ideas, every minute, every second.

Will you still accept me because I may not be the same person that you have known ages back? We are buddies. Will you still stand by me when the changes have overcome me?

Meeting up with my group of buddies that I have known ever since god-knows-when. As much as we try to meet up at least once a month, its a gathering where no others or partners are allowed, doing our own catching up. Though we might all be busy, dealing with our commitments but each and everyone of us know that we are only just a phonecall away.

This evening. I am happy to see them as usual. We had a great dinner. Drinks at C-A-N.

Meeting them up tonight, I realised a few changes.

R used to love coffee but he ordered soda today. He said, too much coffee is not good. P used to love western food but he brought us to have sushi instead. He said, Sushi is better. While chatting, we had a pretty heated up arguement about third party involving in a relationship.

I realised that I had evolved. My thoughts, my way of speech. K told me that he felt so about me as well, on our way back home. I have to admit, Yes, i had changed. We all have changed. Be it, for better or worse. Each and everyone has a significant differences.

But will all these changes make them leave me?

归零。。。

失意的悲伤如果能立刻归零，那该有多好？

我想你！


Under the same sky, breathing the same air, watching the same stars, walking on the same pathway, I thought of you.

我们的关系。。

我和你的关系，进一步就会掉进万丈深渊。退一步，就会覆盖不见天日。

寂寞。。。

在这样寂寞的午夜里，一个寂寞的人，独自喝着一杯寂寞的tequila 。。。

I'll be BACK...

= ) long long long time no see = ) There are so much to say but too little time.

I'll be BACK soon = )

诺言

不可能实现的诺言，是最动人也是最美丽的。


Promises. Have you ever wondered how many promises have u made? & out of all the promises you made, how many had came true?

I always think twice whenever someone asked me to make a promise. Always considering my ability to make it come true or the very least, to be able to keep it. I feel that a promise made should be a promise meant to be keep. I am always trying my very best never to break any promises that I have made which anyone will feel upset or to let someone down.

But recent happenings, make me wonder.

Promises, are they meant to be broken? or to be keep?

How much does a promise worth?

As they always say : " A promise that cannot be fulfilled is always the most beautiful one."

So, do you want your promise to be that Beautiful or one that is keep to the very last?

后来。。。。我和你，没有后来。

今天我遇见了好久没见的你的老朋友。他问我你的近况和我们的后来？我有点意外。难道他不知道我们在很久以前就早已分手了。

我用沉默和微笑作回答。他表现的很惊讶。我们谈起从前。和他笑着谈起从前。离开后，我突然想如果我们有以后，我们的以后会是怎样的？

很可惜的，

后来。。。。我和你，没有后来。

灿烂的每一天

我总会想起你，希望你的每一天都会很灿烂。

Even though distance has always been playing a part to all relationship, inclusive of friendship but yet, being able to talk over the net, meeting through webcams is enough to make me happy.

Even though things had happened such a long time ago, I still think of you. Everytime I think of you, a smile spread across my face and I hope you are having a great day.

When I think of you, I think of a long time friend who I have not hug for a long time. A good buddy who I know will stand by me when i need him. A close friend who knows me. Someone special because of the secerts in between =)

So, now again, your face flash through my mind. I can always recall all your faces, be it happy or sad. I can always recall your moves, be it standing or sitting. I am smiling while writing this : May each and everyday of yours be as good as it can be.

祝福，那时无法给你的回答。

与你再次的相见，使我想起了那时的我们。

我记得。。。

你曾问过我。你说：“如果就是明天，我还是会祝福你，而你会不会祝福我呢？“
那时的我对你笑了笑后，不停的用力的敲打你的头，为何要诅咒我们分手？？！！
当时,我始终没有回答你。不是因为我不想回答。而是那时的我没有答案。


现在，如果有机会再回答你的问题。我的回答是：“明天我想我一定能，一定能给你衷心的祝福。可是，我无法肯定，在之后的某一天，就是多年的以后，再次与你相遇，是否还会是同样的。

Goodbye...

Today, i headed with the rest of the guys to send Him off at the airport. I was surprised that she was not there when all of us arrived. I guess i was expecting her to be there too. Anyway, the whole bunch of us met up for dinner before he depart. Edwin as with me all along there, holding on to me like i might break. Lol. I think i really has to let go this time round but then again, i was glad that Edwin is with me. I thank God for giving me him. He was there when things went the wrong way. Always there when i needed an arm or a hand. =)

After the dinner ended, finally it was time to see him off. We proceed to the departure hall together. The guys gave him a hug each. He looks fine. When i went up to him, we hugged tightly. He kissed me on my cheeks. I was tearing but with a smile on my face. I know this is for his own good. He promised to keep in close contact. He entered the departure hall with a smile. I have never seen him like this before. =) We had all changed.

Edwin send me home. We spoke on the way. I am very confused now, not because of him, but because of Edwin. Got home, showered and i know, before i close my eyes and head off to Dreamland, i will think of him once again.

Goodbye! =)




看着你离去的背影，我这才发现。。。我失去的不只你和与你的那一份爱。。而是一个永远无法实现的诺言。

Looking at the shadow that you had casted upon the ground when u make your move, i realised, besides you and the love we once shared but i have also lost a never - will - fulfilled promise that u had once made......

放手

放手是一种快乐，也是一种温柔，更是一种解脱。

Learning to let go is a form of happiness, a way to display your gentleness and also a way to redeem yourself.


So much time had passes by, after so much emotions bottled and mixed up. Finally, I have to admit, its the time to let go. You will always have a part of my heart, my memory and my space. Be it, as a friend, a lover, a buddy. I will never forget those happy moment. I will never regret meeting you because, you taught me LOVE. You taught me care and concern. I've learned. I've smiled because it happened. I've been to paradise sky and rotten hell. Most importantly, we have learned about life. =)

I am letting go because that is a form of happiness for the both of us. A way to display my gentleness for you. A time to redeem myself.

对不起，是我做不到。。。

我从没想过在今天这个重要的日子，在你身边的竟然不是我。我带着一种很复杂的心情进入会场。还好的是，有他陪伴着我。

我想上次对你说的，我还无法做到。

因为我还是记得和你在冰冷的深夜里，无人的街道，你总会用你那双文暖的手牵着我，开心的，慢步的，走着。

你会董的。。

我相信，我的祝福， 你会了解。

I was surprised to find him under my block today. He seems he has been waiting for quite a while. I asked him why didn't he give me a call. He said he was afraid that he might disturbed me. I didn't know as I was out with my buddies for dinner in the evening.

We sat at the playground, the usual spot. He told me, she wanted an engagement. He asked my views on this. I encouraged him that he should since he won't be back for quite some time. I guess She just needed to feel secured. He asked me if i am being true to my heart, to what i say, to my views & take on this. I looked at him for awhile & smile. I nod my head & pat his hand. I am surprised by myself as well. I believe, time is really 1 main factor that can heal all wounds. After a short while, he left. I went home, headed for shower but my mind is thinking about what he had said.

hmmm..What will be a better response？ Am i true to myself? I do not have an answer. I guess i might not be that sure myself.

Meanwhile, I am following the flow. But i believe, u will understand one day eventually.

一个空的玻璃瓶。。。

好久没见的我们，相逢在好友的生日会上。因为知道你会出现，所以我带着那时你向我讨的那份早已过期的生日礼物。
我送你的是一个玻璃瓶，里面没装什么。我把礼物交给了你。你露出那小孩子气可爱的笑容。你小心翼翼的打开那精心的包装，我设计的盒子。
看见那空空的玻璃瓶，你用手轻轻的敲了敲我的头，笑说我越来越小气。
我看着你，眼角不经有点湿湿的。微笑的说：“有一天，你会明白的。“
你有点惊讶，用一种有点难过，有点心疼的微笑，轻轻的触摸我的脸。
我们静静的看着天空，那美丽的月亮。就这样，静静的。。。


我送给你的不只是一个空空的玻璃瓶。那玻璃瓶里装的其实是我为你流过的泪水。我想，等你了解我的时候，你就会知道了。

This is dedicated Out to a special "Him"

Artist: Lila McCann Title: Almost Over You


I saw an old friend of ours today
She asked about you and I didn't quite know what to say
Heard you've been makin' the rounds round here
While I've been tryin' to make tears disappear

Now I'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you

You're such a sly one with your cold, cold heart
For you leavin' came easy but it tore me apart
Time heals all wounds they say and I should know
'Cause it seems like forever but I'm letting you go

Now I'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you

I can forgive you and soon I'll forget all my shattered dreams
You took the love that you wanted and left me the misery

Now I'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you
When you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you


I think i am really almost over you. In the time to come, these feelings will fade away and things will resume back to what once it used to be.
It will be gone with the wind. Let bygone be bygonez.
Still, a fact that will never change. My feelings for you were once as shiny as a gem in the sky, as bright as the sun light...

陌生的你我。。。

在此刻，我看见了，在你眼中那陌生的我。

He came home for his winter holidays. Its great to see him again. We met up and went for dinner at Holland V. At first, it was pretty awkward but soon we starting talking and catching up with recent events.

After awhile, i realise the change in him. Perhaps, he has also realise the change in me. Looking into his eyes, i saw my image. A stranger. =) I have to admit, knowing the truth hurts. The truth of me turning into a stranger of his life but i smile after the truth settled. It should be that way. He has move on, so do I.

He sended me home. We sat down at the playground where it used to be our little spot. We talked about the past. We laughed. We smile at the old memories.

I know, its time. To let go of our past.

心酸和遗憾

我认为，在这世界上，最令人心酸和遗憾的事，不是我已丧失了义无反顾的勇气再去爱一个人。而是我心里明白，我再也不会像现在这样再去爱一个人了。

i believe that the most saddening and heart wrenching thing in this world is not losing my courage to fall in love with someone else again but knowing the fact that, in this lifetime, i will never be able love anyone like this again...

never...

Its your love..

It was your love that keeps me Sane, Whole and Balanced.

对错？

爱上你，是对也是错。对的是，我遇见了你。而错的是，我们没有缘分一直爱到底。

亲爱的，爱为什么可以那么忧伤？

想你

能够让我专心想的人，就是你。

也只有你。

我想听你说，对我的感觉，是不是还有些什么？

Overpowering

How surprising the way time goes by. It has been so long but i am still surprised by the power that he has over me. I really hate it. I know perhaps i might still be waiting for something or perhaps i am still standing on the same spot taking my time learning to be stronger in order to move on or maybe i have already been making small moves, taking small steps at a time.

No matter what, for once i know that even if i am waiting, the outcome will still be the same. Nothing can be change at this point of time. The moment that he had decided to leave, the moment he had decided to be with someone else for the rest of his life. I should have have know better. This is just impossible.

Some people advised me that nothing is impossible in this world but as for me, i feel that there will always be somethings you know that, deep inside you, you just can't achieve. Not now, not before and it will never be in the future. Whatever it is, i guess the pain is still settling.

Settling.....

The perfect moment that i once wished to freeze in time, the feeling i felt for u deep inside. The way u leave with the shadow you casted upon the ground. You were what i used to believe in.
I once wished to frame the look in your eyes and once again the feeling i feel for u deep inside and if love never comes again, at the very least, i know that once i have been to paradise sky, in that perfect moment with u in my life.......

Right here waiting

I'm right here waiting for you.

等你。。。

我愿意从容自己，拿光阴当筹码，赌一赌能不能在这里等到你。

I have decided to give myself a time frame. I am betting against time.

I will be here waiting because i believe our love is strong enough to overcome time and tide.

I am not getting any better

I guess my sickness is getting bad to worse. I took my medicine but it does not seems to be much help. I heard that Zhi Qiang [a Friend of mine ] is also sick. I guess the flu bug is back in town. I went off to teach tuition today. However, my kid's grandmother thought that i will be teaching tuition at 5 AM instead of PM which is kind of ridiculous. Luckily he is staying just right above me..i told his grandmother to just give me a call when he gets home. At around 8Pm i went up again and surprising my kid is quite well behaved today. A 100% passed for his spelling. I am happy and taught him something new today. The difference about has and have. He finally understood after a BIG struggle of myself in being patient. Honestly, KIDS , i have to admit i do not really know how to get along with them but still i guess i did a good job somehow =P

Went home and had a good chat with Dad and Mum. Telling them about the issue of my kid's grandmother thinking that i will be up at 5AM just to teach him tuition.We laughed about it.

I watched the TV programmes for a while before a phone call rang. It was him. I guess in a way i was waiting for him. I can't deny that i was feeling kind of upset upon hearing his voice but at the same time i was glad that he is now back in SG and he did remember to call me. We talked about some recent issues in life but in between there were moments of silence. I guess i just run out of words or something just got my tongue. I am not too sure what to say. Soon after awhile we hang up. I could not sleep though i have taken my medicine and there seems to be so much on my mind. So i decided to go online. I felt even more lousy knowing that exams are just around the corner and i am not doing much about it. There seems to be so much on my mind and i just can't get it off. I did try to study but ... i just can't. I really have no idea what's wrong with myself.

I chatted with those regulars in EDMW.. Kathy told me about her progress in studying and i felt worse. Suddenly, I hated myself for not bucking up. I guess i displayed myself in a funny way.. They were concerned about me and i told them i will be fine. YES, I WILL BE ALRIGHT! Due to the fact tat they were still talking about studies, i feel even more worse then i decided part the channel.

I went in to another channel and met a guy named Sebas. After chatting with him for a while, i feel that in a way, he does understand how i feel. I then started to empty my thoughts into him. Funny, it seems doesn't it?! I am telling so much to a stranger.

I am not too sure what is wrong with me but i just felt very wrong. Out of a sudden, i felt very lost. Lost as i do not know what should i do. All i wanted is just to be happy but why am i not? I wanted all to go away but i am unsure about what should i do to make all this go away. Perhaps today is just not my day or perhaps i might woke up at the wrong side of my bed. My heart is not at peace, my mind can't stop running. I wanted this to stop. I want to get focus. I wish to stop all this rubbish that is going on. I wanted things to be in control, wanted things to get back in place.

Perhaps the phone call earlier on did bring me a little shock.The Things he mentioned brings me confusion. This is not me. I ain't like this. Damn it, I hate this feeling...

Sebas stayed with me throughout the night. We talked about a lot of stuffs. He said he is a weirdo but honestly what is the real definition of weird. It all depends on how u see it, isn't it?! I told him to define the meaning of weird. He said not being normal. Then again, what is normal ?! Who set the rules of being normal and what is not?! I always feel that its to each his own. Its how u see things in a different view. We continued chatting and in a way he brought mi back to reality and gave some peace to me. I felt better. Maybe, somethings are much more easier to tell a stranger about then a close friend.

I don't know. I really don't know. I am so Messed Up!