The meaning of a hug...

Whenever we hugged, the warmth in you makes me melts. It gives me the will to go on in life. It makes me know you are here. It feel so strong, the love and the admiration, just as desperately as I need to breathe even if I'm underwater.

But, are you doing so, hugging me because you want to & not because you are suppose to?

You touch my tired eyes,
Sprinkled them with magic dust,
They brighten up when you are in sight.

You trace the lines of my life,
Watching every steps of mine,
Growing old suddenly seems fine.

You heal those scars as time goes by,
Making me all brand new & alive,
Craving for your touch every time.

You wrap your thoughts around mine,
Changing my life,
They leave prints in my mind.

When I fall weak & cry,
You hold on to me tight,
Assure me everything will be fine.

When I feel scared & afraid of life,
You protect me with all your might,
Stand tall for me & shelter me with your light.

I may not have the softest touch,
I may have edges that's rough.
I may not have say the right words at the right time,
I may have hurt you with some unkind.

I may not look like much,
I may not fit in that much,
I may not seems like very much,
But will you, take my heart & give us a try?

I will love you till death do us part,
I will stand by you when life gets hard,
I will hold your hands through the dark.
Will you, embrace my soul & love me throughout this life?

All my life, I have known to be searching for a someone to love, a someone to make me complete. While many had choose and change partners, dancing to a song of heartbreak & drowing in the sea of cries. I listen hard to the sound of hope & holding tight to the faith in me while I wonder deeply in, if all the while somewhere, somehow, someone perfect is searching for me.

Sometimes I wish that falling in love has traffic lights too.

Flashing green to show that I can go for it.
Flashing orange to show that I need to slow down.
Flashing red to show that it's time to stop.

Just so that my heart won't get bruised.
Just so that my heart won't get hurted.
Just so that my heart won't get shattered.

& so that my heart will be completed.
& so that I won't miss my chances with you.
& so that I can do the right things at the right time.

Only so to defend myself...
Only so I won't waste time...
Only so I know you are the right one.

Struck in a Fantasy & Fairytale

I'm struck in a Fantasy
I can't help but somehow fall in love with the way it feels.
I wonder if it is real.
If I need it, can I have it?
Telling myself I should stop, deep inside I know You have become my addiction

I'm struck in a Fairytale
I can't help but somehow got in too deep with the way it goes.
I wonder if I'm just taken by the thought of it.
If I should stay away?
Telling myself i will quit, deep within i know You have become my obsession.

It's all because of you.
You have taken all over my mind & all I could think of is you.
You have taken all over my heart & my heartbeat races for you.
You have make me crazy because all I wish now is to be with you.

So will you, keep me sane with your love?

Will you be the angel of mine?

I don't know how it happens but in new conversations we have, you never fails to make me smile. Always something inside of you that draws me wanting to be close by.

I don't know why it happens but in each conversation we had, I could feel each moment as if they were new & I'm alive. Always right on time, you came & shower me with love when I lost hope & thinking my world might be a lie.

I don't know what it really is but in all conversations, always a change in me & you are the cause of it. I'm different now, I've grow & because I have got you now in my life.

How you change my world, I can never learn.
What you mean to me, you can never know.
Because nothing means more to me than what we have shared. It's something noone & nothing can be compared.

I look at you.
I listen to your voice.
I can't help but wonder.
Are u sent from above?
Are u the angel of mine?

The breaths I have took,
The love I have shown,
The smiles I have made,
I only want to share it with you.

Will you be the angel of mine?
Solely mine....

Time Consuming VS Time Efficient

An 8 hours requirement to get this ready pipping hot.

Why can't we just do take away?!

When you're in love, you don't need words. A look, a touch, a sign is all it takes to know...

Scariest Day...

Finally you have returned. I have barely survived in the days without you. I can't tell you how tough days were without you by my side. These are the moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real.

You came to me, telling me how you have missed me, apologise to me if you have woke me up. I sensed you are out of sort, having a lot in your thoughts. I caught in surprise on how painful i felt when you said you have fallen in love with someone. I understand your dilemma, your worries, your fears. You asked me how to declare your love. You are worried if she feels the same. You comment on her beautiful, smart & good personality. At the instant, You have no idea how badly i wish i am her. I caught in surprise on how my heart aches. I want to cover my ears & stop listening to you telling me about her. I caught in surprise on how my heart breaks, at the moment, i could feel my world came crashing down. Still, I can't let you go & think about this alone. I want to share your thoughts, your worries, your fears with you.

"Asked her out for dinner & pop the question" i said.
"She lives so far" You replied.

But love knows no distance. If it's love, anything works.. even distance & time.

I envy her, she's the luckiest girl to have you loving her. I hope she does know how much she's blessed to have you & your heart with her.

Just when how badly i need to leave, i bid you goodbye. I only wish you know what you meant to me. I only wish you have read this.

You said my words are touching. Have you actually read them carefully?

You declare i won the game. The time apart makes you think. Caught you in surprise, made you scared & afraid.

You told me you are falling... for me. We hardly know each other but that's what makes you want to be close to me despite you been hurt by many, with me you feel different. You apologize for being so sudden. You said you love me! You said I'm the one for you. You said you will try for my love. You said you will believe me. You said it makes you happy knowing i'm happy. You fall in love & that is why you are running away.

But,
Do you know, i am scared too not because of what you said but how much i want to say it to you too?
Do you know, i am scared too not because i can't wait but you been running away, disappearing.
Do you know, i am scared too not because i am not ready but you might not believe me.

Finally, it took you so long to come near me.
Finally, it took me so long to get you close to me.
Finally, it took us so long to realize this.
Finally, it took us too long in hiding.
Finally, it took us too long to let our hearts to guide us.

I never knew feeling like this was real. So real that I must be dreaming.

It's the scariest day of the year. Yet only one thing scares me the most, it is that we might never have met.

Whatever happens tomorrow, we had today. I'll always remember this for you made my heart beat raced. For you put my soul at ease. For you made me smile foolishly. For you put my heart back in place. For you Love me....

A song... Our song..

Hope guides me. It is what gets me through the days and especially the nights when i don't have you with me. Each time you are gone from my sight, I hope that it will not be the last time I look upon your beautiful face. I hope that it will not be the last time i hear a word from you. I hope that it will not be the last time i feel your touch.

Because, your look, your word, your touch, reaches deep into my soul & my heart in ways that i can never imagine anyone else does.

Because i want to be in your arms. I want to feel your touch. I want your lips on mine. I need you very much.

Because you have bewitched me, my heart & soul. I love you & I wished I’ll never be apart from you from this day on.

The silence in our conversation...

The short pauses in our conversation makes me wonder. It is silence of comfort i called it. You sounds so near that sometimes it takes my breath away and all the things I want to say is unable to find a voice. This is the time in silence, I can only hope, my eyes will speak my heart if you see them close enough.

There are always so much I want to say to you, but I'm not sure where I should begin from. Should I start by telling you that how much comfort you bring to me? Or how much it means to me with the time i get spent with you. Or how in this short time I've known you, I've come to believe that you left a mark in me?

I can say all above is true but just when i tried to say out, my mind went blank and all I can think of is that I wish I am with you now & lean onto you. Closing my eyes with you beside i know i want nothing more than you holding me this way till the end of time.

If there is some part of you hesitating for a moment,if there is a moment of hesitation, does that means you feel something too? If there is something between you and me, does that means you are denying it?

All I ask for is that you won't just dismiss and ignore that. Please try to dwell in it for just a second. Because there isn't another soul on this planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you.

All i ask for is that you will take a risk. Because even if we will never talk again like this after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you have meant to me.

Insignificant teardrop...

My teardrop may be insignificant, but it can touch a soul as when it runs down my face...

Dear Dairy....

Dear Dairy,

Today i met a boy. He stole my heart & won't give it back. I love dancing with him when all i need to do is only to step onto his feet & he will count the steps & lead me to tap those 2 left feet. When I'm with him i don't try too hard to be happy. I love him swinging me around, though i get dizzy spells but i think it is because he kissed me. When night comes, i can guaranteed i'm thinking of him. Every night i pray, tomorrow starts with him. Every night i wish, wishing he's here to hug me so i can feel his warm chest, i can listen to his real heartbeat. Every night i hope i have told him sooner how i have fallen in love with him. Every night i want it so badly, if only it is that easy to just go straight up to his face & say I Love You.

Just as i thought i could have him, my dream ruins, my heart breaks. I just can't forget how much i'm in love with him. How do i return him his key to my heart? He has no idea how hard it is to force myself to stop thinking of him, of me, of us. No matter how many times i tell myself that i'm better off without him, a part of me just won't let go.

Just as i thought the worse could be over in time, every mistake i've ever made, every word i wish i had said, every moment that made me cry, rushes through my head right before i go to bed. And now, all i can do is cringe & pretend that it all had never happened before.

Let's Play a Game

An Overdue late night chat,
An Initiation of mine,
An Invitation to you,
An Agreement from you,
And the clock started ticking,
We are ready.

Am I going to be the winner of this game?
Are You losing just so to comfort me?
Is this going to be a happy ending?
Will you finally fall in love with me?
Do you understand how i feel?

All I wish is that you will love me.
All I wish is that you will need me.
All I wish is that your heart will break without me.
All I wish is that you will spend rest of your nights awake thinking of me.
All I wish is that I'm the first you greet for the day & the last you spoke to before bed.
All I wish is that I am always the last thing on your mind before you go to bed.

Not by anyone else but you. Don't say yes unless you really mean it, because I might do something crazy like believe it.

So, now i ask again, Will my wishes come true? Will you have me? Will you have my heart? Will you be the one?

The perfect moment you can find...

The moment when you kiss someone and everything around you turns into a blur. The only thing in focus is you and that person then you realize that this person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. At this moment it makes you want to laugh but also to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that it will all go away at the same time.

This is what people said, the perfect moment in time.

Sometimes, for happily ever after

Sometimes loving is when you have to leave, but you must do.

Sometimes loving is when it hurts too much to let go, but you have to.

Sometimes Loving is when it kills you to move on, but you need to.

But then just sometimes Loving is when you get it back and live happily ever after.

I didn't thought...

When you said you would love me, I am the one you needed all your life, I didn't thought you meant you'd love me till you got tired of me.

When you said that you love me, I am the one who you would make want to die, I didn't thought you meant you would love me till someone new comes in.

When you said you love me, I am the one who makes you feel alive again, I didn't thought you meant you love me till you had me crying over and over again.

I wish for the Courage in me...

I wish I had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had. But, I can’t because I know you won't come after me, and that's what hurts the most.

I wish I had the guts to walk out of this room. But I can't because I know I will never feel the way I feel when I'm with you for the rest of my whole life.

I wish i had the guts to ignore your touch. But I can't because I know there's this place in me where your finger prints still rest, where your kisses still linger and your whispers softly echo.

I wish i had the courage to let go. But I can't because i know a part of you will forever be a part of me.

Why do people have to lose things just so to find out what they really mean to them?